Staplers: A Few Drabbles
by theckel
Summary: A workday, a lion, a traitor, surgical instruments, losing a job, an attic, a rabbit, a salamander, an assassination and a smuggler. Oh ho.
1. A workday

My well of creative juices has dried up in a most pathetic way, so I decided to do what I've seen a few people doing – a writing challenge.

I have no idea how to go about doing this, so I've decided to just use this writing challenge generator by a site called Seventh Sanctum. It's cool, yes. You should check it out.

Anyway, I got it to generate a set of 10 challenges, and this is what it's given me:

_The story is set during a workday._

_The story must have a lion at the beginning._

_The story must have a traitor at the end._

_The story must have some surgical instruments appear in the middle._

_During the story, a character loses a job._

_The story ends in an attic._

_The story must have a rabbit involved in the middle._

_The story must have a salamander in it._

_During the story, there is an assassination._

_The story must have a smuggler in it._

And so we begin.

* * *

**The start of the day.**

"Granger."

"Yes?"

"Let's have some biscuits."

"No."

**A little into the morning.**

"Granger?"

"… yes?"

"I recall hearing that there would be an interesting performance today. In… the middle of Diagon Alley. Care to join me?"

"No."

"It's _free_."

"And I'm _not_."

**The middle of the day.**

"Granger?"

"_Yes?_"

"We should have a bagel together."

"Excuse me?"

"For old time's sake."

"We're in the middle of work."

He groaned. "Precisely."

**Sometime after lunch.**

"Granger."

"No."

**The end of the day.**

"Graaan-gerrrr."

"What?!"

"Let's walk home together."

"… all right."

He grinned.


	2. A lion

"MALFOY. WHERE IS THAT ARTICLE I WANTED?!"

The workplace hushed, all eyes coming to rest on one journalist, who happened to be exiting the loo at the point of time.

"Well…"

"I ASKED FOR IT LAST WEEK."

"I know, but you've got to understand that I have a life, Granger."

"LAST. WEEK!"

"Are you all right?"

"NO, I AM _NOT_ PMS-ING!"

Bloody lionesses.

_

* * *

_

**an;** Well, that was pretty fast. Anyone else seen that 'I NOT HAS A PMS!!!' picture?


	3. A traitor

"No, it's quite all right," Hermione assured him.

Draco looked at her suspiciously. "You won't tell the manager, will you?"

_Because of all the times you've gotten __**me**__ into trouble? _she thought to herself. "Re_lax_, Malfoy."

"… fine. But I've got an eye on you."

**Later.**

"That was a very, very, very personal secret I trusted you with, Granger."

"I know it was."

"Very."

"We'd _always_ suspected it was you who stole the photocopier that time. You've an odd affinity to Muggle inventions."

He glared at the 'Do not allow Draco Malfoy to touch any more equipment' memo that had been given out.

"Really. It wasn't me."

"_Traitor_," he hissed.

She smirked.

* * *

**an;** I'm very, very sorry for flooding your inboxes.


	4. Surgical instruments

"I swear it attacked me! She _jinxed _it!" Draco was yelling, to anyone who would listen. Unfortunately, everyone at the office was absorbed in their own Valentine's Day gifts.

"You mean you all believe that I would stick my hand into a bunch of thorns?!"

"Those are roses, Malfoy."

"Which she jinxed into having thorns," he huffed.

"Yes, of course she did."

"You don't believe me! It bloody HURTS."

"Did you know that those are poisonous?"

He went quiet for a moment. "How can you tell?"

"See the way they detached from the plant? That means that they're… uh, depositing their poison."

His face went paler.

"Yeah. We're going to have to operate."

"But that's so _Muggle_," he whispered.

"Sorry, Malfoy." She drew out a pair of scissors from one of her drawers. "This might hurt a little."

"GYAAAH!" he screamed, as she opened them, and stood up and ran to the other side of the office.

"We're doing a dare," Hermione offered as explanation to her fellow co-workers.

"She's going to kill me!" Draco plastered himself to the wall.

"He's supposed to act like I'm a murderer."

"She _lieeeeeeeees_," he gasped out, trying to feel for the door behind him.

"Come now, Malfoy. I think you've done enough."

"OW!" he exclaimed, as the thorns in his hand brushed against the wall. "Granger! _Granger_! I feel the poison! _It's crawling up my arm!_"

"That's an ant."


	5. Losing a job

"Harry, I'm so sorry."

"It's all right."

"That 'Brilliant Bubbly Bubblegum' flavour was horrible, anyway."

"Really? You said it was your favourite," Draco chipped in.

"I could pull some strings for you," Hermione said loudly, talking over him.

"No, I don't think I'm really suited for journalism. But thanks, Hermione."

"Yeah, I don't think he'd pass the spelling bee part."

"Would you like to join Harry in his bout of unemployment?" Hermione asked sweetly.

Draco scoffed. "You're senior, but not _that_ senior."

"Just watch me."

He gazed at her, challenge in his eyes.

"Hello?" she spoke into the phone. "Yes, it's regarding Mr Malfoy. He's said that he wants to resign."

Draco's eyes widened, and he started grabbing for the handset.

"Lies! She lies!" he said frantically.

He was met by silence.

Hermione and Harry burst into laughter, as he slammed the receiver down.

**x**

"You really don't want to get fired," Harry mused, to the blond sitting opposite him.

"Of course not," he muttered, "And that was a _cruel _trick."

"Ah, Hermione," he chuckled.

"I hate her."

"No you don't."

"Shut up."

_

* * *

_**an; **Pleaseeee review. :3 I know that most of these are incredibly OOC and such, but if you're out there, reading, then let me know what you think, okay?

_Okay?!_

Ahem.


	6. An attic

"What _are_ these archives you're so worked up about, anyway?" he asked, as they climbed the fifty-seventh flight of stairs.

"They're about a Muggle girl who managed to get into Diagon Alley, though she shouldn't have."

"You?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You're so immature. This is serious. It concerns the Muggle Interactions Department."

"Right."

"Here they are!" she exclaimed, pulling down a box with a _thump!_

There was an echoing _thump!_, and they were suddenly plunged into darkness.

"What was it I said about not making any sudden movements?" Draco asked slowly.

"G–gee, I've never been so close to the stars! The sixty-eighth floor! This is amazing!"

"We are locked in the attic, Granger."

"I know," she whimpered.

He sighed. "Do you have your wand?"

"No, I left it at the foot of the ladder."

"Same. Let's just wait until someone else comes up."

"Malfoy?"

"What?"

"I'm scared of the dark."

He rolled his eyes, and cursed. "Typical."

"Can we get out?"

"It locks itself."

"But–"

"All right, all right."

"Thanks, Malfoy."

"Save it."

**x**

"What happened to you two?" asked Colin, taking in his ripped pants, and a bleeding hand.

"The attic," Draco muttered.

"She's afraid of the dark."

"_Now_ I know that," he spat as he washed his hands.

"You opened it _from the inside?_"

"She was clutching onto my arm. You know how it is."

Colin gave a low whistle. "You've got it bad."

_

* * *

_

I guess I kind of cheated here, since it's supposed to _end_ in the attic. But attic, schmattic, you're all here for Draco, aren't you?


	7. A rabbit

"Hermione!"

"Yes?"

"It's Malfoy's turn to clean the rabbit's cage, but he's disappeared."

Hermione vaguely remembered him saying he had to go to buy some flowers for his mother just moments before.

"I should've known," she growled.

_

* * *

_

Five paragraphs. It's exactly in the middle. Hehe.

Yeah, I know I'm weird. Now shush.

Actually, don't. Review.

/begging.


	8. A salamander

"All right. Who forgot to feed Tony?" Hermione asked, standing up and glaring at the rest of the office.

She got a sea of guilty faces. Well, not really, since that would've been creepy. And a little weird.

"You said a fish was too _boring_, I got you a bird. You said a _bird _was too _noisy_, I got you a _rabbit_. You said the rabbit _stank_, I got you _hamsters_. You said hamsters weren't _cool_, I got you a _salamander_. Try to make an office happy, and they replace a salamander with a _rubber snake_ in the hopes that you don't notice."

"We set him free?"

"Sod off, the lot of you."


	9. An assasination

Chaos, with a pinch of nutmeg, would be what best described the office at that time.

The so-called assassination of Hurley Mullet was big news, especially among the tabloids sections.

"Which girl do you think it was?!" someone yelled.

"_Noo! I loved Hurley!_"

"I'm thinking that one he brought to the annual Shallow's Ball!"

"No way, it was the one he slept with, then left at the bar!"

"There were seventeen of those!"

"What about you, Granger?" Draco asked, leaning against the partition between their cubicals.

"I think he died from a drug overdose. No way would someone bother assassinating him."

"You've got a point."

"Shouldn't you be with them?"

"You think I have photos of Hurley Mullet stashed somewhere?" he asked incredulously.

"You had Lucius in that secret compartment under your desk."

_

* * *

_

I just realised that that sounds a little... kinky.

No, no, no, no, no.

And the next chapter is a monster of a drabble.


	10. A stapler

**Tues, 9:07**

"Can I borrow your stapler?"

He handed it to her.

**Tues, 9:54**

"Sorry, Malfoy. I think someone's pinched mine. Could I use your stapler for a second?"

**Tues, 10:36**

"Okay, I need –"

"A stapler."

"Yeah."

"Here."

"Thanks, Malfoy."

He hid a grin.

**Tues, 11:09**

"Have you got an extra? Then I'll be able to stop asking you."

"Nope," he replied, popping the 'p'.

"All right, then," she said, handing it back to him.

**Tues, 4:20**

"Oh, brilliant. You've run out of bullets. I'm so sorry. Look – I'll go get some."

"Just use mine."

She smiled gratefully at him.

**Tues, 5:32**

"Honest, I'll buy my own today for tomorrow."

"It's all right," he said, pretending to be a little irritated.

She apologised again.

**Thurs, 3:45**

"It's not funny anymore," she complained, as she took the stapler from him and clipped a stack of papers together.

He frowned thoughtfully. "I'll keep an eye on your desk next time."

**Fri, 10:17**

"Malfoy!"

"Yeah?"

"It's gone again!" she wailed, "This is the fifth one!"

**Fri, 2:18**

"You know what?"

"No?"

"I'm going to cast a spell on the next one. It'll start yelling once someone else touches it."

**Sat, 2:00**

Blaise was staring at him in a most unnerving manner as he put his coat on.

"Yes?" he snapped.

Blaise sighed at him. "Are you going to steal them next week, too?"

"She depends on me," Draco smirked, "it's nice. And just until next week. Next week will be D-Day."

"You're pathetic."

**Mon, 11:25**

"Hey, I–"

"Need a stapler."

"Yeah," she sighed.

**Mon, 1:03**

"Could I–"

"Borrow my stapler?"

"I'm sorry," she apologised in vain.

**Wed, 1: 58**

"I–"

"Stapler?"

"Uh huh."

"You should put your name on them."

"I do!"

"Big?"

"Not big enough, I guess."

He smiled as he thought of the huge 'PROPERTY OF HERMIONE GRANGER' written on that orange one.

**Wed, 2:47**

"So, Malfoy, I was wondering if you were using–"

"My stapler?"

"Damn. Yes."

"Here."

"Thanks."

**Wed, 4:33**

"Could you photocopy this for me?"

"Good try. You need my stapler."

"… yeah."

**Wed, 5:21**

"All right, done! Could I borrow–"

"Friday, I'll pick you up at eight?" he asked in a hurry, then waited…

"Yeah. Sorry, I promise I'll buy you bullets!"

He handed her the stapler.

"Sneaky bastard," Blaise chided.

"Shut up. You're my witness now. Don't let me down," he hissed quietly.

**Fri, 6:07**

"I just don't understand!" she complained as she buttoned her coat.

"Maybe someone's trying to get revenge on you?" he suggested.

"Well, it's certainly working," said Hermione, sourly.

Draco chuckled. "I'll see you at eight, then."

"Huh?"

"I'm hurt. You mean you don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

"I asked you on Wednesday," he prompted.

"Asked me what?" she asked, turning to close her locker.

"_Blaise!_" he hissed quickly.

"Fine, fine. This is against my will, though. Hermione!"

"Oh, hey, Blaise."

Blaise faked a laugh. "Tough, mate. She's forgotten."

"Forgotten _what?_"

"Your date with Draco tonight!"

"My _what?!_"

Her shocked expression hurt.

"Well, I've already reserved the restaurant, so there's nothing you can do but come with me, and besides, I've been lending you my stapler," Draco said quickly.

Blaise slapped himself. Whatever had happened to that charming speech he'd written? It'd obviously been replaced by Draco Desperado in Distress.

Hermione laughed. "All right, all right. Calm down."

**6:34**

That's what she'd said, but now, she was panicking. Her hair wrapped up in a towel and dressed in nothing but underwear, Hermione ransacked her wardrobe. "Luna!"she yelled, "Why don't I have any clothes?!"

"Because you never go shopping," the other girl replied, a serene smile on her face.

"I _know_," she said, exasperated.

"Why do you need clothes anyway?" Luna asked, merely out of courtesy. She had been watching Hermione with vague curiosity ever since she had returned home from work, thrown her bag and coat onto the floor, and rushed into the shower.

"I've got a date with Malfoy," she sighed.

"_Malfoy?_"

"Yeah. I know, unbelievable."

Instead, Luna shouted, "Ginny! It's time!"

"What?" Ginny replied, walking into the room.

Luna merely grinned at her, and gestured at the clothes.

Ginny's jaw dropped.

"Really?"

"Really," Luna confirmed.

"What time, Hermione?"

"Uh… eight?"

"What have you been _doing?!_"

"I only got home twenty minutes ago!" she protested.

**7:49**

"Clutch?"

"Check."

"Bracelet?"

"Check."

"Shoes?"

"… damn."

"Luna!" Ginny chided.

"Sorry, sorry."

"I want flats!" Hermione called, as she rushed out of the room. "_Flats_, you hear me?!"

**7:56**

"These are way too high!"

"Oh, come off it. It's only three inches."

"You look _gorgeous,_ Hermione."

"I can't _walk_ in these!"

"Don't be silly, they've got balancing charms and you _know _it. You won't even notice they're there."

"Bloody likely," Hermione muttered under her breath.

**8:02**

"… hello?" a tentative voice came over the intercom.

"_Shit! _He's here!"

"Go forth, Hermione!" Ginny grinned (very mad scientist-esque), pushing her out the door.

"Have fun," Luna waved calmly.

Hermione cast a last desperate glance at her friends.

Then Draco walked into the landing.

**x**

"H–hi," she stuttered, surprised by his suit. With a _handkerchief_ in his breast pocket, he looked dashing. Hermione swooned, and was suddenly very glad for her friends.

Draco didn't reply, very, very, very, _very_ glad for her friends.

Dressed in a light blue evening gown, her hair in a casual up-do, and ever-so-light make-up dusted over her face, Hermione looked better than he had ever imagined.

And he imagined bloody damn well.

Then she realised he was staring, and she turned six different shades of red. "It was Luna and Ginny!" she insisted. "I'm really, really sorry if I'm overdressed… or something…" she faltered.

"You look amazing," he gawked. Then, remembering his manners, offered her a rose. "Don't worry, this one's not poisonous," he said with a smirk.

**x**

"He got her a rose!" Ginny squealed.

"Yes, I can see that."

"A _rose!_" she repeated. "I _knew_ he'd be a gentleman."

"You do know that he's been stealing her staplers, don't you?"

"What?"

"Blaise told me so."

"Oh, pish posh. I'm sure he's got his reasons."

**8:05**

"Shall we go, then?"

"Oh – right. Yes, yes, we should." She felt she should be polite, since he was.

That was what she told herself, when really it was the fact that he looked undeniably _hot_.

He opened the door for her.

**8:09**

"So, where are we going?"

"It's a secret."

"_Malfoy_," she groaned.

He loved the way she said his name.

**8:16**

"Here."

They'd arrived at a quaint little place, lit on the outside by candles Hermione was sure were enchanted. Cheaters.

He offered her his arm. She blushed, again. She'd never been offered an arm before.

**9:34**

"Look at _that_ woman."

"Come on. That's your choice? She looks fine."

"Oh, really? Look again."

She did.

"Is that a _chicken?_" she spluttered.

"Why don't you ask her?"

"You're _horrible! _I'm – I'm sure it's a pet of some sort."

"A _pet_?"

"Well, we've had a salamander!"

"And everyone was _dying _to have Tony on their head."

The corner of her mouth twitched up despite herself.

**10:28**

"I need to use the loo," Hermione said, getting up.

Her legs looked amazing, and he tried his hardest not to stare.

**12:37**

"They're back," Luna announced.

Ginny rushed over to the window.

**12:48**

Finally, she turned around to walk into the building.

"Wait," he called.

She turned around.

Well, again, so that she could face him.

**x**

"They've been out there for bloody ages,"Ginny groaned.

**x**

"I have a confession to make," he said seriously.

"What, killed someone finally?"

"No, but close."

"Hmm?"

"I've been stealing your staplers."

"It was _you?!_"

He put his hands up in the air. "I was desperate!"

She whacked him, hard. "You could've just asked."

"You wouldn't have said yes," he accused.

"How do you know that?" she asked, stepping dangerously (for him) close.

"I just do."

"Who do you think has been stealing your bullets?"

His jaw dropped, and she smirked.

And _Merlin_ did she look sexy.

**x**

"Luna!" Ginny protested, attempting to wrestle the curtains out of her hands.

"Come on, give them some privacy," scolded Luna, but she was smiling.

"You don't know how long I've been waiting for this," she sulked.

**12: 53**

Hermione, at that moment, discovered that blackberry spearmints could taste very good indeed.

Especially off the lips of Draco Malfoy.

"I could return your staplers," he breathed, when they broke apart.

"Don't want me to borrow yours anymore?" she asked, leaning against him.

He changed his mind. "You're never seeing them again."

**1:14**

"Heeeer-myyyy-ohhh-neee!" Ginny squealed, flinging the door open. Hermione staggered in, and fell into the couch, a dreamy smile on her face.

"He's such a gentleman," she sighed.

"Oh, we know. How was it?"

"Fun. Brilliant. He doesn't like apples, you know."

"That's nice to know," Luna said, "I've always been more of an orange person myself."

"So, how were the heels?"

"What heels?"

* * *

_Well, I guess that's the end of it. To you few who are reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and haven't yet died from suffocation through congested fluff-filters. Let me know what you think! I'm new at writing these short stories and such._


End file.
